four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
