Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
