I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize