I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
