areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
