wat bout pragnant strippers??
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
