I'm lost and stupid without you.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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