I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In America we eat man semen.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
