I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
is that a dick in a sweater?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
