you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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