Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize