I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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