You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
