How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
