it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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