it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize