my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
