your thong is hanging out like whoa
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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