I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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