i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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