Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
