Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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