is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to stick my p in your. b.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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