I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
