She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
