pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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