Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
