i barfeds in our rink
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
