you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
