oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
