I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize