ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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