$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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