If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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