Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
