Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
