Buhtt sex?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All the doctor said was why
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
