Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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