I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
