i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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