oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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