It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
