Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
