Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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