Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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