right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
