I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
