Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
