if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
