what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
