her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
