Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
