Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
