he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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