Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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