don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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