The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
