who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
