Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
did i just pee glitter
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
