I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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