Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
