And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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