Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got inside last night via doggy door
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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