My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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