dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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