I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
