Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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