So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
love makes seman taste better
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
